How can it be you have spent a whole ten minutes staring at a banana?
Why do you always do stuff like that?
Why do you never do the other really great things where it’s much, much better – and afterwards you don’t want to saw off your own face and post it back to yourself with not quite enough stamps?
Also, learn how to make breakfast, not even knowing you are out of bed. Diagnose the mirror, reason with the mice and boil yoghurt blindfolded.
Enjoy the fruits of hurtling cognitive decline and your neighbours sprawling ghastliness, absence of humanity, and so, so much more.
These times have not been easy.
We Got This is the brand new show from BAFTA and Perrier award-winning comedian Dylan Moran. It promises to be a joyously furious romp through the frustration and folly of modern-day life.
Age guidance: 15+
There has been a theatre on George Street for almost 170 years. The first theatre was built in 1836, and a second in 1886. In 1934, the third New Theatre opened.
The theatre has been owned by several different companies and undergone several name changes. It is now owned by the Ambassador Theatre Group and hosts everything from ballet and opera to musicals.
On performance days, the Box Office opens at noon and closes 15 minutes after the show starts. If there is a performance on a Sunday or Bank Holiday, Box Office will open 2 hours before the show begins and close 15 minutes after the show starts.
There is a large air-conditioned bar with seating located below the Stalls Foyer, two further bars in the Circle Foyer and an additional one at the back of the balcony. All stocked with an array of drinks and snacks.
There is a cloakroom located in the stalls bar. If this is closed, please speak to a member of staff. £1 per item. It is free to ATG Theatre Card members.