Now, for those of you who tried out for one of the Tour de France teams but only just missed the cut, DON’T PANIC. Because there is, in fact, a far cooler Tour you can take part in this summer.
Yes, the French Tour’s start line on 4 July may be fairly impressive — a mere 368 powerful thighs flexing and champing at the pedals, ready to rocket up a few dozen French mountains — but if we’re really being honest, who needs iron quads anyway? Especially when you can have far more fun on another Tour that warmly welcomes thighs that may, frankly, have seen better days…
And even better, for this alternative Tour (which I’ll come on to shortly), you do not need:
- To be sprayed top to toe in Lycra. (I think we can all agree that Lycra should generally never be worn by anyone over the age of 27½. Unless, perhaps, you are Ryan Gosling. Or Daniel Craig.)
- An £11,000 bike. (I know. I can hear you all saying, “Do they even make bikes that expensive?” Yes, they do. Apparently. I certainly don’t own one — and I can tell you this: I bet those bikes don’t live in the back of a dusty shed with half a dozen hibernating ladybirds living on them.)
- A tiny Renault full of race coaches with walkie-talkies yelling into your earpiece and telling you to climb hills faster. (Who needs that? I should think that’s even more annoying than Nigel Farage telling us all to vote Reform. On repeat.)
- And finally, you don’t even need to learn French. Pourquoi? Because this Tour is right on your doorstep. In fact, you probably don’t even have to leave your own county. (Actually, come to think of it, Nigel Farage might actually quite like this one. God help us. Please, NOBODY tell him about it.)
Anyway, moving swiftly on, allow me to introduce you to…
Le Great British Tour de Cake
The perfect summer activity. Exactly like Le Tour de France. Except different. In about every single way.
Le Great British Tour de Cake is a collection of 26 countryside bike rides around West Berkshire and Oxfordshire, all neatly pulled together in one very easy-to-read book (I’m the author, and I don’t know any long words anyway).
Right on your doorstep, everyone can take part — young or old, big or small, confident or wobbly on a bike. There are rides for children (5 miles, with an ice-cream stop halfway), rides for wobbly legs (8 miles, flat and traffic-free), and rides for those looking for a longer day out (28 miles, with a couple of hills).
On country lanes and leafy tracks, the circular routes weave from village to village — some of the most beautiful that Oxfordshire and West Berkshire have to offer — before neatly delivering you back to where you started.
Plus – and let’s be honest we’ve had enough of the boring bike stats now (honestly, I’ve even bored myself now) — whereas on Le Tour de France I have yet to see ANY of the cyclists stop for a coffee and croissant (presumably because the French cafés en route haven’t yet managed to sort out 184 bike stands outside of them?) the Tour de Cake is frankly…
ALL about the cake stops.
Let’s talk about cake!
As the name suggests, the Tour de Cake is quite literally all about the coffee and cake, with each ride featuring at least three café stops en route. All are independent, all are in village locations, and all have space to prop your bike up outside (or dog, or children for that matter if they are being particularly trying that morning).
There are cakes in thatched cottages, sausage rolls in sunny cobbled courtyards, cheese toasties in barns, and let’s not forget wow cakes in wonderful gardens.
From Bruern Farms in the Cotswolds to Sadler’s in Faringdon, and The Snug in Dorchester-on-Thames to The Maker Space in Nuffield, the coffee shops stretch right across West Berkshire and Oxfordshire — with owners ready to greet you, smiles on their faces and coffee machines on…
A summer of cake awaits…
So, if you’re looking for something to do this summer (those school holidays can be verrryyyy longggg) then nip into your local bookshop and pick up a copy. By Heth Miller (local author), Le Great British Tour de Cake is being sold in LOTS of places — coffee shops, book shops, village stores etc (frankly, it’s a bit like a rat — you’re never more than 6ft from one).
Yes, if you’re feeling really energetic, you could reach the cafés on your bike. Then again, the dog needs walking and the kids need getting out of the house (before you all kill each other), so you could always just pick a café, plug the postcode into the satnav and drive….
After all, who needs the exercise anyway…
Le Great British Tour de Cake by Heth Miller is available to buy from Amazon, local bookshops, and at www.hethgoesbiking.com/shop
Take a look inside…
Click to expand
About Heth Miller
Heth is a writer and decidedly average cyclist who prefers café stops to cadence stats, and believes life — like her writing — is best consumed with a sense of humour (and ideally a biscuit).
Heth’s book Le Great British Tour de Cake, is a collection of leisurely countryside cycling routes across Oxfordshire and West Berkshire, designed to be enjoyed at a gentler pace and punctuated, quite deliberately, with cake stops.
