A monthly memory café in Abingdon has become a source of friendship, reassurance and practical support for families living with dementia, with some of its earliest visitors later becoming day-care users or residents at the care home where it is held.
The Butterflies Memory Café, at Bridge House Care Home on Thames View, has welcomed people living with memory loss, alongside relatives and carers, every month since June 2023.
Held on the last Tuesday of each month, the free café brings together residents, families and members of the wider community for music, themed activities, guest speakers and conversation. Around 15 people now attend regularly.
For Rosemary Rayner, 86, the café has become part of a much longer connection with Bridge House. She was among its first visitors, arriving with her daughter three years ago. She later began attending day care before moving into the home in October 2024.
“The Butterflies Memory Café is a lot of fun,” she said. “There is always something different to do.”
For families caring for someone with dementia, however, the value of the café extends beyond the activities themselves.
Debbie, whose partner Pete is 84, said caring around the clock could be difficult and that finding others facing similar experiences had become important.
“A friend recommended the Butterflies Memory Café to me and I love the people and the environment,” she said. “Everyone is understanding and the knowledgeable team are so helpful.”
Another regular, Dave, cares for his wife Liz, 78, who was diagnosed with dementia three years ago. After attending the café, Liz went on to use day care at Bridge House.
Dave said the experience had given him greater confidence about Liz’s care and reassurance about the future.
“It is difficult to deal with short-term memory loss as it can last just 30 seconds,” he said. “I am confident Liz is being looked after when she is at Bridge House and it gives me reassurance for the future if Liz ever needs extra care.”
For Lysette, who cares for her 90-year-old mother Terry, the café has offered something equally important: a place where the pair can continue to enjoy time together.
They discovered the café after being referred by Dementia Oxfordshire, one of Bridge House’s community partners.
“Mum loves the café so we keep coming back,” Lysette said. “Everyone is so friendly, thoughtful and kind.”
The café is part of Bridge House’s wider effort to maintain connections between its residents and the Abingdon community. Through its Friends of Bridge House initiative, the care home says it has developed more than 70 partnerships with local businesses and community organisations.
Chantelle Merritt, lifestyle and Riverly Club manager at Bridge House, said the café had become an important part of the local support network.
“As a dementia specialist care home, we feel it is important that people feel supported throughout every stage of the dementia journey and have places where they can connect with others, enhance their wellbeing and continue enjoying life,” she said.
Bridge House provides residential, nursing, specialist dementia and palliative care across 71 en-suite bedrooms. The home holds Platinum Status in the Gold Standards Framework for end-of-life care and has an Outstanding rating from the Care Quality Commission. It also won Team of the Year at the Oxfordshire Care Awards last year.
The wider importance of social connection for people living with dementia has been highlighted by research including the Wellbeing and Health for people with Dementia programme, which found improvements in wellbeing associated with increasing social interaction in care homes.
At Bridge House, the café’s success is being measured less in awards than in the relationships that have developed around it.
For some families, it is a monthly activity. For others, it has become a first step towards finding a wider network of support — and, in some cases, a familiar place to turn as circumstances change.
The café’s organisers say they intend to continue providing a welcoming space where people affected by dementia can meet others, share experiences and remain connected to their community.
